At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
