I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
