Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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