Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
