So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
