just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
