Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
