So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
