actually, I'm a sock model
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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