He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
