He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
