she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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