Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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