you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
