people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
