So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
