Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
