You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
