You made me cry and you don't even care
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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