No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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