my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Nobody cheats on THIS.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
