Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
