I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
