Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I touched a dick in church today
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