"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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