Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
