I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
