WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
