im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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