I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i wish my penis had a tongue
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
no you cant smoke seaweed
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
