Yo dont text me then not text me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
