Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
