If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
