Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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