My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
