Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
