North Korea, Best Korea!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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