Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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