We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
