Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
