he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
