And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
accomplished twins. life is a go
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
