it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
