Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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