Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
