i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
