the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
