I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
