ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
