Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
That accounts for only three of the penises
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
