i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
